Because of the restructuring of the Western, nuclear family, men have been led to devote much of their newly acquired “free” time in pursuits of unprecedented personal interest that, even a century ago, were virtually unknown. As a result, the role of the “family man” has, in many ways, become a part-time venture. Our culture encourages the detached, independent man in the endless pleasure-pursuits of his own personal interests and hobbies, often to the neglect and detriment of his role as husband, father and patriarch.

The most important thing that a husband can give his wife and family is himself: his time and attention. A man’s wife should be his primary interest, followed by his children. They are his greatest investments in life. For the husband, regardless of whatever he and his family must do to “make a living,” his wife should be his “career.” This is the essence of a husband’s ministry. A wife should never have to compete for her husband’s interest and attention. When she is properly valued and cared for she can thrive, knowing that she is of the utmost importance to him. and as a result he himself can be released to abundant dimensions, for “he who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:28).

So preeminent is this responsibility that Paul asks about a man who is negligent of his household,

How will he care for the ecclesia of God? (I Timothy 3:5).

C2Pilkington-4Clyde L. Pilkington, Jr.
(Excerpted from his upcoming book, Wife Loving)

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